1 + 1 = 3

So we're all clear, thus far, all my knitting disasters haven't involved poor knitting, but poor arithmetic. Baby's not so good with the simple math. The hard stuff, I got. Adding? Not so much.

This gray yarn. This pretty, reasonably expensive, gray yarn. It's Lamb's Pride Superwash Bulky in Charcoal Gray for those that give a rat's ass. In the interest of disclosing all info (this is critical in having the whole story) it was $10/ball at my LYS. There are 110 yards per ball and each ball is also 100 grams. Again, critical information.

Since we all know I suck at math, I decided that the simple math in making a swatch was just trouble waiting to happen. So I got out my trusty food scale (Weight Watchers is my babydaddy), switched it to the metric setting, and weighted my yarn and one of my needles. Yup. There are 100 grams of yarn and one needle is 10 grams. Made notes. Started knitting.

I finished one pattern repeat and weighed it. Did the "hard math" and determined if I kept my current gage, that my scarf would be just the right length.

So I knitted. And I knitted. And I counted rows. And I miscounted rows. Then I bought a row counter (all problems solved then!). I knitted until I finished the first ball almost entirely. Then I weighed my work. Then...then I measured it.

There's no coincidence that SHIT and KNIT rhyme. Baby said a lot of bad words that night. My wonderful hard work was only two feet long. Let's do the math together:

1 ball = 2 feet

2 balls = 4 feet

4 foot scarf + 6'3 Hunk of Man = Too short scarf

Too short scarf = Baby losing her shit

Al tried to console me and suggest just going to buy more yarn. Genius! Not so much :( My LYS was OUT OF THE COLOR! I damn near passed out. What was I to do?? The Lovely Ladies Who Knit suggested I get another color and add it to the ends. Too bad all they had in stock was Frilly Girly Man colors. This just would not do.

I came home, employed Al's help and we set off searching the internet for said yarn. I had rationalized that dye lot wouldn't matter at this point. I'd just work the new yarn next and the old yarn last. That way, when around his sweet little neck, the ends would match and the middle would match. I'm so smart!

But the internet failed us. While Baby is desperate for this yarn, she's also not going to spend $6.95 to have it shipped to her. Oh hell no. I searched and searched to no avail. I decided I'd give it 4 weeks, then I'd rip out and start over. *sigh* Al offered to buy another type for himself so that I could still use this beauuuuuuutiful pattern. How sweet. While sweet, that had me knitting TWO scarves for his sweet little neck. Baby already crocheted two for him last winter. Two more already? Goodness!

Yesterday, in a fit of desperation, I started calling other LYSs in the area. A dear, sweet woman across town confirmed she had one ball of my so-desired yarn. ONE BALL. I begged her to hold it and she did! I offered my first born and my Visa number, but she declined. I'm picking it up on Tuesday (my day off). Cross your fingers and needles!